20 | January | 2015 | The Honest Life

This post is dedicated to all those who struggle.

I could go on forever about this topic as it has unfortunately preoccupied most of my life, as well as many others.

A while ago I came across the most beautiful quote:

I think this is so accurate and healthy as the most stunning people are always the ones who look outward and take an interest in other people.

Me and my body have been on a long journey together.

This picture back in 2008 marks the start of it all…things were slipping.

I couldn’t see it then but now looking back it was clear what was going on.

My whole teenage life was composed of doctors appointments, referrals, meetings and hospital admissions.

Despite all the doom and gloom, I did have a lot of fun with the friends I met and we got up to a lot of mischief along the way – including photocopying ourselves, mattress surfing, sleepovers and punching-the-cushion sessions! *(You know who you are!)

We all care, to varying degrees, about our appearance but there is so much more that goes on behind the skull!

I know I am not alone when I check myself out every morning to assess “the damage”…

And because I have recently gained quite a lot of weight from another ‘relapse’ episode, I am having to re-adjust to my body again. Everyday is getting slightly easier but there are still times when I just want to CHOP IT ALL OFF!

As hard as it is, buying new clothes has actually really helped me feel better about myself. There is nothing worse than tight clothes that make you feel like Mr. Blobby!

(Having said this however, I couldn’t quite face the prospect of buying a new pair of jeans for myself and had to have little minions to buy them for me!)

* Out with the old, in with the new

Another thing that helps is an exercise I learned in hospital. It is called The String Test. All you do is cut a piece of string to the size that you think your waist is and then compare it to another piece that was actually placed around your waist. I like to add another step, and that is the “How I feel” step. This is because it’s all well and good guessing how big you think you are but you need to also acknowledge how big you FEEL.

This is how it works:

* See the difference?

I am learning to embrace my body more and am even starting to feel quite attractive in the right clothes!

* Selfie overload!

This is me wearing the same outfit I did almost exactly one year ago:

* So, as you can see, the sleeves are much tighter, my face is rounder, my chest is larger and instead of my hip bone being visible through the material … I have hips.

* Ps. My hair looks pretty bad in the second picture as I didn’t have time to properly curl it like the original.

I do feel a little out of my comfort zone being the size I am now. In my opinion, I think I looked the best in the picture below taken about 2ish years ago …

* (Besides, who wouldn’t look hot on a super huge tractor?! 😛 )

But I am trying to tell myself that this is my “recovery body” and it’s not necessarily where I will stay for the rest of my life – It’s the physical phase my body is in while my head is re-wiring!

Finally, I just wanted to touch on stomachs and thighs as I know these are major areas of concern for most women. I have also been very preoccupied with mine too!

Here they are!