Fears.

I have accumulated quite a number of these throughout my time.

Some of them are rational, others are not. Some are common, some are weird. Some I have faced, others I have not.

Fears are funny in that sometimes we think we have a fear of something but in reality we just strongly dislike it. For example, I used to consider myself an arachnophobic – meaning I had a fear of spiders – but then I realised I wasn’t actually scared of them, I just hated them! I got the heebies whenever I saw them and would shudder at the thought of one crawling over me!

On the other side of the spectrum some fears are paralyzing and can really impact how you live your life. Some examples of these are:

Anthropophobia – fear of people

Agoraphobia – fear of public places

Claustrophobia – fear of confined spaces

Decidophobia – fear of making decisions

… This next one didn’t surprise me! :

Phobophobia – fear of developing a phobia

Most of these however, are a result of underlying conditions such as anxiety, depression, OCD or eating disorders etc.

Although I do not clinically have any phobias, I do have a list of fears and an additional list of fears dictated by my illness. Here they are:

*Once again, some of them may cause offense, in which case I apologize, but I can’t lie.

My General Fears                                                 My illness’s Fears

1. Getting fat                                                         1. Getting fat

2. People thinking I look fat                              2. People thinking I look fat

3. Being in a airplane crash                                3. Not completing daily rituals

4. Getting kidnapped                                           4. Overeating

5. Not being able to have children                    5. Losing control

6. Not feeling fulfilled in life                               6. Being lazy

I also have FOOD fears:

1. Chocolate – (Overcame this by, unfortunately, bingeing on it)

2. Cheese – (yet to overcome)

3. Crisps – (overcome)

4. Eating in restaurants – (yet to overcome)

5. Meat – (yet to overcome)

6. Cream – (yet to overcome)

7. Takeaways – (yet to overcome)

8. Bingeing – (I am susceptible to it but I still fear it and hate it)

9. Sitting / keeping still – (pretty much overcome this but still find it hard sometimes)

So yeah, quite a lot to work on!

However, one thing I do know about conquering fears is that every time you confront them, it gets a little easier. The first time you put that square of chocolate in your mouth you may be physically shaking, over heating, crying. But the second time, you remember you’ve done it before and that makes it a little more bearable. Gradually overtime that fear that you thought you would never overcome becomes something that hardly phases you anymore and perhaps, you even begin to enjoy it.

We are always going to have fears and some of them you may not be able to overcome, but the point is you’ve got to keep trying and show them who is in charge!

 

Good luck!