Never good enough.

So, seeing as I am now unemployed again – (yup.) – I thought today’s topic would be based on a thought that has been swirling round in my head for some time; “I’m not good enough”.

I know that I am not alone in feeling like this and I’m sure we can all relate to those deflating experiences that make us feel that way; such as getting dressed up to go out (and feeling really good about yourself) but as soon as you arrive at the place you have been preparing for you look around and realise that everyone else looks so much better than you and you will always be ugly and frumpy…

Or working really hard on something but getting a disappointing result … You get the picture.

It’s really not pleasant feeling bad about yourself but it’s so hard to feel good when the majority of society has consistently and ruthlessly decided that the only way to be accepted is to look like this:

 

Whatever happened to this being the most desirable body?!

I mean, she looks happy enough, right?!

I must say however, that things have been getting a little better recently…

Model Tess Holliday is a size 22.

                                                      Model Chantelle Brown-Young suffers from the skin condition Vitiligo.

These two women are both undeniably stunning however they are considered to be “different”.

I do not agree with that, as “different” implies that they are abnormal somehow. They are not. They are simply flaunting their individuality and there are thousands of other people who look just like these two ladies but are not brave enough or in the position to show it off. But because these people aren’t successful models, they don’t get the “privilege” of just being called “different”, they are labelled as weird and ugly and strange.

Think of it this way; when a new scientific discovery is made, say a new deep sea creature such as the Aegirocassis (below) whose fossils were recovered just this year, we do not say “Urgh, Look at it! It’s so ugly and weird” (well, some might but that’s besides the point!), we say “Wow, that’s really cool!”.

 Scientific reconstruction of the Aegirocassis.

Now imagine if we were like that towards people. We would embrace each other’s uniqueness rather than judging them because they may not conform to “so-called” beauty as set by the narrow-minded standards of the 21st Century.

I’m not saying that I am completely innocent of such judgments myself as there has been many a time when I have had preconceptions towards a person just because of how they look, but it is so unfair and so unjustified. And just as much as we hate being made to feel worthless, so do others and we have to accept people for who they are.

Acceptance is a great thing and it is so important we learn to embrace those around us, but what about ourselves?

We deserve the love and acceptance we give to others just as much as they do but it is so much harder to do so.

So what can we do to overcome feelings of inadequacy?

Well, my suggestion is to surround yourself with positivism.

Watch good things, read good things, wear comfy clothes, be with people who make you laugh, be outside, make goals and be kind.

It’s an up-hill battle but maybe, someday, you might just win.

R xx