Being “normal”.

There is SO much diversity out there – yet we all strive to be accepted. For some reason, so many of us refuse to appreciate ourselves for who we truly are and are always striving to be something else.

The persecution some people have faced over time because they were not seen as being “normal” is unimaginable but, generally speaking, the world is becoming increasingly more accepting and standards that would have been deemed unacceptable even 50 years ago are now common place. More than ever, people who are considered to be “different”, are standing up and demanding acceptance.

While this is – for the most part -a good thing, there are still a lot of inequalities and judgments circulating.

A particular group of people who are fighting against societal judgments, are people who are overweight. On social media, hashtags such as; #honourmycurves #plussize #thickchicks and #pizzasisters4lyfe are being used to create communities where people share pictures of their “unconventionally” beautiful bodies in an effort to support each other. These people have learned to embrace their bodies and un-apologetically enjoy flaunting what they’ve got.

              

Equally there are people on the other extreme who are promoting the stick-thin, malnourished look where followers will encourage each other to continue to loose weight and to never give in to temptations that will compromise their figures.

In addition to these, there is another category of “clean eaters” where people religiously stick to a healthy eating regime and will post perfectly edited pictures of their vibrantly coloured meals online. Unfortunately, this can often lead to cases of Orthorexia – which is a relatively new eating disorder where people are obsessed with being healthy. (It is my belief that acquiring this disorder is heavily linked with exposure to these online accounts and other healthy eating jargon and advertising within society).

But what if you do not fit into a category? What if you are too fat to be skinny, but too skinny to be fat? What if you are not comfortable with either flaunting yourself or starving yourself?

Does that mean you are not welcome? You have no place?

The funny thing is, these groups and communities were formed to make those who feel ‘different’ in some way, accepted, and to make them feel like what they are defending is worthwhile.  Yet does that mean that if you do not share the same beliefs or have the same circumstances as the people in those groups, you are not accepted either?

The irony of creating support groups is that there will always be more people who become excluded as a result!

In reality, it means that unless you proudly flaunt your belly rolls or alternatively, exhibit your hip bones and post pictures of your perfectly arranged meals, (in this example), you will not have a network of supporters and you will not get 1000+ likes for every picture you post.

There’s something very sad about that.

I am not clinically fat. Neither am I skinny. I am, for all intents and purposes, “normal”, yet I still feel like an outsider because I am not confident enough to flaunt my flaws.

It would be nice if there was a “I look normal” hashtag, but then again, what even is normal? … And by creating that kind of community I would only be condoning other exclusive accounts  and promoting further isolation – which defeats my point entirely!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that all support groups are bad, in fact I have stumbled across some really positive accounts, but I just feel that in the process of trying to be inclusive, a lot of these accounts are becoming, maybe even unintentionally, exclusive.

An ideal situation would be one in which no one has to use hashtags or comments to defend themselves because there would be no judgments or stigmas to result in the need for them anyway! Everybody would be accepting of each other and no one would be made to feel inadequate or unwelcomed.

This is unfortunately a very unrealistic situation and one that we will probably never get to see but it is important to remember that we are more powerful than we think we are. Change begins with YOU and you never know how far a little kindness can go. So be a little kinder, be a little more accepting and …

And STOP judging!

Change.

It’s one of those words that we love to hate!

If you are to ask someone whether they like, or do not like change, they will inevitably respond with either a yes or no answer.

Then, in response to that, we will tend to stereotype them based on what we think their answer means in relation to their character. For example we will assume that if one likes change, they must be a spontaneous outgoing person while those who dislike it are introverted, boring or even rigid.

Upon further reflection however, I have come to believe that these perceptions are completely invalid and there isn’t actually anyone who can claim to either like or dislike change because we are all the same!

What do I mean?

Well, being the fickle human beings that we all are, we find it hard to stay consistent. We may claim to hate change because we do not like surprises, yet if change suits our current needs, we may not be so opposed to the idea after all…

For example, if you were due to get married at the weekend and all week prior to your chosen date it had been pouring it down with rain, you would inevitably be preparing yourself for a wet day and would put the necessary provisions in place, ie. umbrellas! But then, say on the day you are due to walk down the aisle, the sun suddenly bursts out and the sky is blue – you are not going to be complaining! You are not going to be sad that you will not be needing to use those umbrellas anymore! You are going to be rejoicing in the change, embracing in the spontaneity of the moment and frantically pushing your previous worries that you were going to have miserable grey wedding pictures to the side!

Equally, if you are watching the world cup final and your team is loosing with one minute to go, but all of a sudden (remember you do NOT like change) your team scores and you end up winning, you will decide, right in that moment, that change is a good thing indeed.

I know that both of these examples were rather trivial but they illustrate the point that sometimes when we claim to hate change, we can actually go right back on what we said depending on whether the circumstances of that change suits our needs or desires at that particular moment in time.

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The irony of this whole thing is that humans thrive on change! How else would we have become so successful in developing and conquering and leading over the course of history were it not for changing circumstances? The human race is ever evolving and, if we were to never experience change, we would never progress.

It is thought that the appendix was once a vital digestive organ used back in the caveman days to digest animal hair and bones, (as that would have been part of the human diet at the time). But now it is commonly removed and deemed not essential to life. Isn’t this evidence that although times and circumstances change, people adapt and continue to thrive?!

It is important to note however, that too much change may also not be a good thing … but then we enter into the wonderful world of BALANCE! (which is not so wonderful after all because it’s so hard to achieve!), and that is a whole other debate in itself!

So maybe next time you encounter a change, no matter how big or small, or how scary or inconsequential it may seem, try and remember that it is not the change itself you are scared of, but how you will react that matters. The world is your oyster so stop restricting yourself by placing barriers on what you can and cannot cope with! Take each moment as it comes and deal with the situation as best as you can (: