Walls.

In many ways, people are just like houses. We are made brick-by-brick, principle-upon-principle. We all have the same basic functions as each other and, although differing in architecture, metaphorically speaking when it comes down to it – we are all built with a kitchen and a bathroom – the layout is just different in each house. We are all uniquely decorated and embellished based upon our needs and personal tastes. But, most importantly, we have WALLS.

Unfortunately, unlike houses however, walls in people are not necessarily a good thing and are not so easily moved. In buildings, walls provide essential structure and support and, whilst walls in people do provide some sense of security, they are usually built in response to some kind of painful experience. Walls in people act a defense; a barrier that, although initially constructed with the intent to protect, often only end up causing more damage.

We all have walls we have built to keep ourselves safe. For some, their walls may involve not participating in certain activities or going to particular places. For others it may be manifest in the way they interact with people – scared they will give away too much so remain introverted and guarded. For me personally, my wall is my body.

For many years, I have used my body and appearance to act as a wall to hide my true self. I was worried if I didn’t hide myself I wouldn’t like what I saw or, even worse, other people wouldn’t like what they saw. Being uncomfortable and self conscious became me. A safe way to hide myself and to avoid embarrassment. Without me even knowing it, I spent years punishing myself, trying to conform to a self that I thought I would more fully accept, but with each new wall I constructed, I became more unhappy and more withdrawn from my true self.

The funny thing is, sometimes I would hide my walls with more walls until I had developed an intricate maze that I often found myself lost in. I would put on a care-free, confident mask to cover my self-conscious, awkward self all in an attempt to “protect” what I thought needed protecting.

Recently, I have been discovering more and more the importance of being myself. It’s no good hiding and it’s no good pretending. I don’t want to live within the close confinement  I have made for myself anymore. Living behind walls all the time isn’t fun.

I want to smile with a toothy grin and a double chin, I want to laugh at things I find funny  even if no one else is laughing, I want to wear whatever I want to because I can. I want to eat what I want and say “who cares” and I want to live at peace with myself . I don’t want my life to be governed by the perceived judgments I think other people have towards me and I don’t want my life to be governed by the judgments I have towards myself.

Slowly and gently I am beginning to pull those bricks out of my walls … one by one, until eventually they will crumble down completely and I will be left to live my own life wall-free!

Why should it matter if someone thinks I’m weird or doesn’t like the top I’m wearing? What matters is how I feel and whether or not I am being true to myself. If people don’t like that, then that’s perfectly ok, but I am going to try to stop living my life just to please everyone else.

Will Smith said something very profound on this matter:

…That’s not to say we should think little of other people or their opinions, but we really shouldn’t take to heart everything that is said or implied towards us.

So I say – demolish those walls of yours! Get a sledgehammer and knock them down (or alternatively, begin to soften the cement or pull a brick out every now and then! – whatever pace suits you!). Make your life into a demolition ground – A beautiful battle zone filled with rubble and debris from past barriers and memories you once built.

Leave wall building to the professionals who have a blue print to follow and just focus on living your life as you want to!

– R