Stigmas.

Stigma ˈstɪɡmə/ noun – A mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.
eg. “the stigma of mental disorder”

Let’s face it – we all have them.

But why?

Well, because deep down inside all of us is a prideful, judgmental little minx that likes to find faults in others.

What this minx thinks about people isn’t often shared out loud – as it would be socially unacceptable – due to the nature of it’s spiteful character, however it’s opinion still gets out there somehow. It’s in the way we act, the way we look and the way we treat other people. Sometimes it’s presence can even be felt in the atmosphere; an unpleasant vibe that circulates the area.

Stigmas aren’t nice. They are, in affect, negative stereotypes of people, places and things that are all too often completely untrue.

I’ve been thinking about a few of the most common stigmas in our society that I think need addressing – without the aid of minx’s opinions!

1 – Jobs 

Why is it that people think if you work in fast food or some other low-paid high-turnaround job that you are dumb, have no sense of direction or are desperate? Sure those jobs may not be ideal, but they pay! And people are working for their money! They are harder than you think too, it’s not just a case of putting fries in a bag – or whatever it may be – these jobs are demanding, both physically and emotionally. Besides, most of the time these jobs are a temporary thing or are a stepping stone to a better job. So who are we to judge someone on their occupation? At least they aren’t sat on their bums doing nothing!

2 – Overweight People

You can’t really go anywhere these days without seeing someone who is struggling with their weight. It’s a sad truth, but it does not mean that these people are ugly, lazy and stupid so should not be treated this way. Rude and hurtful comments are not the way forward. There is something deeper going on in these people’s lives that are causing them to be like this and there are so many others factors to bear in mind, such as; genetics, hormones, illnesses, trauma, stress, disease etc. I watched a really interesting documentary the other day with Katie Hopkins entitled “To Fat and Back”. Basically it was following Katie Hopkins (an English columnist and tv personality star), who is VERY opinionated, put on 3 stone (approx 42lbs) in 3 months, and then loose it all in another consecutive 3 months just to prove a point! She is very prejudice against overweight people and said; “I’ve always criticised fat people, so I decided to put my money where my mouth is.” “…fatties have the one thing disabled people don’t have. They have choice. Nobody’s forcing them to shovel food in their faces.” I couldn’t believe how insensitive she was yet, by the end of her journey she was able to develop some sympathy and realised that there is more emotion involved in eating than she initially thought. Body image and size is a topic that’s very close to my heart and I can completely relate to those who suffer with eating related issues. No one should be made to feel inadequate or worthless based on their size or outward appearance. It’s just not right.

3 – Teeth

In another program I watched recently, called “The Truth About Your Teeth” -(Yeah, I watch a lot of weird documentaries!)- they did an experiment whereby they got a picture of a young attractive lady with nice white teeth and showed the public. They asked for people’s opinions of the woman based on their first impressions of her and the results were: smart, clever, attractive, pretty etc. Then they photo shopped the picture so that the woman had some missing teeth as well as some rotten ones and showed it to the public again. This time the response was unbelievable! Suddenly people no longer found her attractive and smart but rather; untrustworthy, not very clever, unattractive and stupid. Wow! This is the same woman we are talking about! So why do we instantly form an opinion on someone’s character based on something as trivial as teeth?! I, myself have a missing tooth as I was born with a condition that means I won’t get all my adult teeth when the milk teeth fall out. If I knew that people thought of me in that way without a tooth I would never leave the house! I have in fact, lost my false tooth a number of times before and I have to say, it is a horrible experience! My self confidence plummets and I feel like everyone is looking at me in a judgmental, disapproving way. My advice – look after your teeth! However if it’s too late for that or other circumstances have caused your smile not to be deemed as “Hollywood acceptable” just know that it does not make you any less of a person than you already are! If people have an issue with your smile then that’s their problem!

4 – Single parents (Particularly mums)

It’s sad that these people are often looked down upon in society. Sure, even though some of them may have made some mistakes that mean their situation could be deemed as “their own fault”, it should not give any of us a right to judge them. It is also important to remember that it is not the fault of the child and if the parent is working hard at looking after that child and providing a future for them, then kudos to them! It’s no longer about the past, it’s all about the present. On wards and upwards. Also, in many circumstances, it may not be anyone’s “fault” anyway, the other partner could have valid reasons for not being present but we just don’t know that and should therefore, not speculate.

And finally…

5 – Mental illnesses 

It is estimated that 1 in 4 are suffering with some kind of mental illness. These could range from anxiety, depression, OCD, schizophrenia, bipolar, eating disorders, and so on. Unless you have suffered with some kind of mental disorder yourself I think it is hard to comprehend just how crippling they are but that doesn’t mean that you can’t try to understand or sympathize with those who are struggling. It was only a number of decades ago that those who were mentally ill were shunned, experimented on and put in exhibitions to be scorned at! But what I think people fail to realise about mental disorders is that there is always a rational part of the mind left – no matter how small, it is there. A conscious part of the brain that knows exactly what is going on but is unable to control what is happening. Mental disorders do not mean you are a crazy lunatic with no concept of what is going on, they are a disease, an illness. What if we treated people with mental illnesses like we did physical illnesses? How do you think that would work out?

People think that you can be”cured” by just telling yourself you can change but it’s not that easy and often, there is no way to fully recover. We have come a long way in terms of understanding and controlling mental disorders but we still have some work to do on accepting them – just as we do for all of the above stigmas.

So let’s all try and make a combined effort to accept people for who they are with no preconceptions or judgments in the back of our minds. Let’s make everyone feel welcome and important and maybe, we too, will feel comfortable in our own skins if we treat others as we wish to be treated.

love

R x

*Stigma definition source: Google